Saturday 9 July 2011

Brief dispatches from Derbyshire

Things are becoming difficult, please send chocolate (as the saying goes).
Stop it naughty animal. No chardonnay for you
I have been the victim of a Very Bad Cat. I think this cat is even worse than the Cambridge cat which tripped up the old lady. This is me, with the help of Big Fat Hairy Ginger, trying to open an ebay account for Aunty Kath, which necessitated opening a Paypal and a Hotmail account as well. Can you imagine trying to get three lots of user names, passwords and secret questions out of Aunty Kath? By the time we had got to the end she was swigging back the Chardonnay, shouting 'I don't care anymore!' and throwing cocktail sausages about with gay abandon.
Because you never know when an amputee who has a cold hand in July may be wandering past
I am fending off constant exciting shopping opportunities. It is a good job I have no money.
I don't know. Modern sanitation
This needs no explanation. You will be relieved to know that you can flush the toilet if you put your hand into the cistern. I sometimes think the most useful thing for me to do would be to retrain as a plumber as bathroom issues follow me wherever I go, I don't know what this means in terms of Feng Shui but I suspect it isn't good.

Back in Cambridge on Monday when normal service will resume.

5 comments:

Vivianne said...

LOL ! No wonder the cat is so attentive with all those lovely bite-size sausages flying about :-)Cat-manna from heaven LOL

Gracey is not my name.... said...

Very funny! I'm seeing lots of ginger cats lately...might be making one for Nerd Wars on Rav...

Susie said...

Gracey, are you really making a ginger cat? But surely only God can do that...

Voie de Vie said...

Don't count out those amigurumi gods. :)

Very funny!

Marushka C. said...

I just assume that family members will immediately change all passwords back to the one common thing they can remember as soon as my back is turned. My mother's been using the same word with occasional changes in numbers next to it since the first time she touched a computer. I am pretty sure she has it written down next to the computer too, just in case.